Bittersweet Moments
by Evie98
Summary: NeilAndrea. Six minichaptered oneshot fic. Can love be found despite a handful of bittersweet moments during a day?
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: Neil/Andrea. Six mini-chaptered one-shot fic. Can love be found despite a handful of bittersweet moments during a day?**

**Disclaimers: Characters featured belong to Talkback Thames Television, The Bill.**

**Author's Notes: This is a six- chaptered fic that i'll be posting over the next few days, two chapters at a time. So it will hopefully be complete before my holiday. The chapters (scenes as i like to call them) arerather short which is why i'll be posting two at a time.And the story is supposedly set over 24hrs. **

**Anyway this is my first fic in what seems like ages, so i apologise if it's all over the place. Please read and review.**

**Thanks:** **To Vix, for giving me some encouragement with this and making me feel a bit more confident about my writing again. :)**

**Dedicated: To my friend Debs, who's been in hospital this last year with serve M.E and who turned 18 today. Am thinking of you.

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Bittersweet Moments

One

It's the steady rush of early morning traffic, teamed with the streaming rays of sunrise that rouses Andrea Dunbar from a dream filled sleep. Blinking sleepily, she sits up letting her eyes search the glowing red numbers of the alarm clock, perched in its home on the bedside table. 7.00 AM. The numbers sink in and are met with a groan. Her first day off work in ages, she's woken early, sending her planned lie in out the window.

It's only as she lies back down against the pillows that her gaze takes in the empty space beside her. A regretful sigh and a quick sweep of a hand along the cold side of the sheet confirms any occupant as having departed a good few hours beforehand.

Disappointment waits a moment, before then immediately setting in. It's shown all over her face, the sadness at finding him gone. Rolling over to the empty space, she buries her face in the cold pillow next to her, breathing in his scent, trying to blink away tears of frustration and annoyance. Wishing things to be different. But that's what happens the voice inside her head tells her, when you go getting yourself involved with a married man, not to mention one with a child.

It doesn't stop her slowly falling in love with him though. It's not like she's asking for much either. Just to wake up and find him still there, not having disappeared before daylight. To wake up and find herself in his arms would suffice for now. Just a little bit more than those few passion filled hours, every now and then, that seem so bittersweet in the mornings after.

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	2. Chapter 2

Two

Neil Manson is sat at his desk, in his small office at Sunhill Police station. Head buried in a mountain of paperwork, consisting of reports and case files. It's not until, a knock is heard, followed by a colleague popping their head through the door, does he look up. In a few strides he's crossed the room, taking a few moments to deal with the questioning DC.

Closing the door again and heading back for his desk, his eyes take in note of the time. 11.00 AM. Settling back down, he picks up the pen he had been using and stares back down at the papers in front of him. Beginning to write again, he finds his eyes straying after a while, to a wooden framed photo sat in its place near the back edge of the desk.

It's the only photo to be found there. The photo of his son, Jake. It had been taken around a year ago on Jake's fourth birthday. Silently remembering his son's excitement at it being his birthday causes a smile to creep on Neil's face. Jake had already been enthusing about this year's birthday, as well. He fondly recalls, although a frown appearing on his face as his gaze falls on the image of his wife, Phillipa. Things had not been right between himself and his wife for a while now, Neil slowly getting fed up of her preference to spending more time at work than with her family.

The hand holding his pen has stopped moving now, his thoughts turning to another aspect of his life. Andrea.

They'd been seeing each other for a good few months now. And the longer he has been going on seeing her, the deeper his feelings towards her were growing. Feelings of loneliness and the harsh coldness he'd been receiving from Phillipa, all seem to disappear when he is together with her.

His eyes look up and search the clock for the time again. It's almost half past eleven now. His hasn't seen her yet today, he recalls, normally by about now she would have popped by CID having made some excuse to spend some time up there. Either that or he would have seeked her out, or meet eyes with her across the corridor or in the middle of a briefing.

It takes a few more minutes for it to reoccur to him that today was her day off. 'The first in ages' he remembers her saying happily the night before. Although inside having been smiling at memories of the previous night, it's a frown that laces his face as the realisation that he won't be seeing her at all today. That realisation making the pile of papers in front of him seem even more depressing.

And it's these last silent thoughts that have his hand reaching towards his phone.

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	3. Chapter 3

Three

She's only just sat down with a book, when the flat's phone begins to ring. It's persistent shrilling drowning out all thoughts as she'd been attempting to read. Initially she just leaves it to ring, too busy attempting to concentrate on the words in front of her, to move. But when it begins to ring out again, her attention is properly caught as it occurs to her with the hope and realisation that it could be Neil who is persisting in wanting to speak to her.

She rushes over to the phone handset, before who ever it is hangs up. And then ends up smiling as she sees the number displayed.

'Hey'. She says, upon hitting the answer button. Smiling again as she lounges back on the sofa.

'Hey', Comes the reply, confirming Andrea's earliersuspicions. 'What have you been doing?' He adds, smiling himself.

'Missing you." Comes her reply.

And she hears Neil chuckle in response. 'I miss you too.'

The line falls quiet then. Both trying to find something to say, waiting for the other to speak.

'…What time did you leave this morning?' Andrea ends up blurting out. A question that might have been on the tip of her brain, but one that she hadn't intended to ask.

'I….Andrea…' Neil starts out as if trying to form an excuse.

'Neil'. Andrea sighs. As much as she loves time spent with Neil, she hates the way they end up tiptoeing around things, when it comes to his marriage to Phillipa.

'It was no later than one.' He answers quietly.

'No later than normal' is an answer that quickly gets formed in Andrea's mind but is never spoken.

'You doing anything later?' Neil asks, bringing Andrea's attention back to their conversation.

'No…why?' She responds.

'I thought we could go out this evening.'

'Go out? And here was me thinking that our relationship was supposed to be tied to the flat all the time.' Andrea answers with slight sarcasm but smiling anyway.

'Andrea'. Neil sighs. 'I thought we could go out for a meal together but if…'

'I'd love that.' Andrea cuts him off. 'So. Where are you taking me then?'

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Author's Note: Forgot to mention at the start, that I've written this with Andrea not being an undercover journalist in my mind. Have decided to ignore that fact for this story. 


	4. Chapter 4

Four

It's almost half six. Though it's not the clock that Neil Manson has his eye on…it's his phone. His mobile phone, that is currently facing him from where its sat on the coffee table, in the front room of his marital home.

But any current thoughts are quickly pushed away as the sounds of Jake yelling, greets him.

'Daaaaaaaad!' Neil watches as his four year old son comes running in from another room and proceeds to launch himself onto Neil.

Neil having caught his son, smiles down at him, waiting for the inevitable question that Jake had been bugging him with ever since he got home.

'Please Daddy, can I stay up late?' Jake asks beaming up at Neil.

'Hmm... .'

'Pleease...'

'I'll think about it.' Neil responds half-heartedly, cutting Jake off. His eyes now back on his phone. Knowing that sooner or later he's gonna have to make the phone call; he's been silently dreading, ever since Phillipa had called with the news that she was going to be working late that evening.

'Daddy!' Jake calls and Neil turns his attention back to his son. 'Pleeeaaaase can I …?' Jake begins again.

'Yeah …look…' Neil begins to answer until he catches sight of the clock almost 6.45pm…It was seven o'clock he was supposed to be round at Andrea's flat. Letting her down again wasn't something he was looking forward to. Especially when his feelings for Andrea were becoming stronger all the time.

'Yaaay!' Once again it's Jake that wakes him up from his thoughts. 'I get to stay up!'

'Jake?' Neil sighs

'Yeah'.

'You go and play in the other room a minute, okay? Daddy's got to make a phone call.'

'And I get to stay up late?' Jake checks grinning.

Neil rolls his eyes, but then frowns as his finger dials the familiar number on his phone.

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	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: Sorry this has taken ages to finish. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. x

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Five

Andrea stares at the blurred, moving images of the television, through tear-stained eyes, whilst hugging a cushion to her chest.

She shouldn't be surprised really, the voice in her head is telling her. As long as Neil is married, she's always going to end up coming second-best. And it's not like it's the first time, he's let her down. Although that fact, is what makes the latest let-down hurt all the more. It's the same as him disappearing off in the early hours of the morning. That hasn't changed. She'd thought…hoped that they were getting closer. But that all now seems to be just a case of wishful thinking.

The message alert going off on her mobile phone, causes her eyes to leave the television screen. Shooting it a glare, she leaves the sofa, picks the phone up and hits the on/off button, not even bothering to open the message. She's far too annoyed and frustrated at Neil to acknowledge his attempts at making pointless excuses and apologising.

It might not necessarily be his fault that Phillipa had to work late, and he's had to stay in looking after Jake. But the disappointments still there…and after suffering yet another morning of waking up alone, it has her wondering if she can continue with their relationship, the way things are.

She loves Neil, that much she knows. But continuing to share him and put up with all the lies and excuses. Disappointment and hurt. Is something she's beginning to doubt.

If she knew how Neil really felt about their relationship then it wouldn't be so bad. Not knowing how he feels and getting let down by him all the time, makes her question if he can feel the same as she does.

Sighing, she turns the tele off by the remote and heads for her bedroom. Deciding on an early night, despite knowing that it's unlikely she'll get off to sleep quickly. There's too many thoughts swarming her mind right now.

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	6. Chapter 6

Six

The block of flats next to the Old Fire Station is deserted except for a row of cars parked along the side of the road. Across the opposite side of the road, a car can be heard being locked, the alarm set and a figure walking across the road from amongst the shadows.

Neil opens the glass door to the fleet of stairs leading up to the first floor flats. After a moments' slight hesitation, he makes his way up, the sound of his feet against the steps echoing off the walls.

Having reached her door, he waits a minute before knocking. Taking a deep breath whilst waiting for the door to be opened.

'Neil.' Andrea sighs upon opening the door, only half-surprised to find that it's him.

'Can I come in?' Neil asks, looking up slightly.

Andrea nods in reply, moving from the door, further into the flat. Neil shutting the door and following her into the living area.

'I...' Neil starts, still standing. Andrea having sat on the couch. 'I wanted to explain about earlier.'

Andrea rolls her eyes. 'There's nothing to explain, Neil. I know why you couldn't make tonight. You told me. That's not the problem…'

'I know you're upset though.' Neil says, moving a step closer.

'Upset? Yes. I'm upset and fed up with coming second all the time. It's like I don't even have a place in your life. Andrea replies annoyed, as Neil takes the seat next to her. 'All the lies, all the excuses. I'm so fed-up with being let down all the time!'

'I know.' Neil answers softly, his eyes staring at the floor.

Andrea is silent for a moment, trying to concentrate on what she wants to say, whilst attempting to blink back threatening tears.

'I...I need to know….' She starts. Neil now looking her in the eye, noticing the silent welling of tears. 'I...I thought what we had was special. But the way you treat me sometimes, makes me wonder if it's just me, that feels that way.'

'No, no, it's not.' Neil quickly says, cupping her face with one hand. The other reaching out to brush a stray strand of hair away from her face. 'I…I care about you. It...It's hard …it's not just a case of me and Phillipa, there's Jake. If it wasn't for…'

'I know that Neil.' She cuts in.' It's not what I want, for you to hurt Jake. What I want…what I need, is to know where _we're_ going. I need to know what _you_ want. That's what matters, what you want.'

'I want you. I want to be with you. I just need time to think. To decide what I'm going to do about Jake.' He answers confidently. 'I don't want to lose you. I can't. I love you. I just can't make any promises right now.'

'I love you too.' Andrea whispers, leaning into press a kiss against Neil's lips. 'I needed to know how you felt. We spend so little time together, we've never got round to talking about where we want things to go, between us.'

'I'm sorry.' Neil answers, kissing her back. 'We spend too much time tiptoeing over other people's feelings, to have time to think about us. I want that to change though, I want to be with _you._'

'Really? You mean that?'

'Yes. You're the one I want. I love _you.'_

'I love you too.' Andrea says, leaning into be kissed.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------It's the alarm clock beeping that awakes her the next morning. And it's not until she sleepily reaches out a hand to switch it off, that she notices the warm body next to her. Having disabled the alarm, she snuggles back down in his arms, resting her head on his chest. A huge smile etched on her face. He'd stayed till morning.

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End file.
